I wish to be alive again. . .

Someone asked me, what is my birthday wish?
Come to think of it, it never pops in my mind. (laggy situation)
So I answered him 'nothing.' I asked myself, 'Myself, what's your birthday wish?' I want to eat food with pleasure again. I want to laugh as loud as I can. 
I want to tell stories to them about anything. I want to do things with them,
to stay up late with nothing to do just quality time with them. 
I want to hang out with my tripod, pentapod, barkada. But I don't know how.
I'm stuck to what 'i want to' but can't really do it. So many thoughts in my head,
I can't control it.  
At the end of the day, I think I'm just afraid.
Afraid of everything. Thinking that every situation I will ever encounter, 
I won't be able to handle them with my own feet and afraid of
what might others think and say. I hate that every time I try to do something I can't do it. 
Dang! I'm 17 already. 
Wake up!
Nothing much happen this day.
I called Eicee a while ago and it felt good to talk to someone.
I miss her so much.
So many people and things I miss. . .
But what the heck?!
Too much drama.